On Personal Loyalty
There are times in the life of a man he realizes that he is about to be tested. Many are the testings of a man, and occasionally, the testing of a man is in relation to his loyalties. I have experienced some form of this before, and I expect many of the readers of this humble publication have also.
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity1
and
Do not forsake your friend and your fathers friend2
What does a man do when his friends are the potential cause of reputational or financial harm to himself? What happens when a mans friend comes under public attack for righteousness sake? In the Church, it is a racing certainty that the slanders of alleged brothers hurt far worse than the attacks of crazy leftists. These blue-on-blue attacks happen not infrequently. Betrayal hurts.
Worse than betrayal by those further out, is abandonment by ones close friends. Too commonly, ones close friends and allies forsake a man. I have seen men flee each other like rats fleeing a sinking ship, merely to avoid reputational harm that is feared. Proximity to a besieged friend is proximity to danger. Proximity to danger is often a matter of perception, rather than a matter of reality.
In the age of lawfare and doxxing, our perception of potential harms far outstrips the actual force that these threats are capable of. It is true that the force of a threat is inversely proportionate to its actuality. It is no good to take council of your fears; they are liars.
Even if the fears are realized, of what should I fear? I have been wise in the selection of my associates. I fear no dishonor for their sakes. I trust that they will not involve me in scandal where the material cause is their evil. My principle concern ought to be that I should be a good friend, and involve them in no infamy due to my own bad actions.
Let me state the obvious. Do not keep company with fools. Do not become close friends with those of whom good men would be ashamed. If you have been such a fellow, then well might you fear the infamy that is the natural due of those who keep company with such men. Young men need to hear this often. We live in the age of the internet persona. Avoid the company of anons, fools, rakes, and worthless men.
Elsewhere I have written on the nobility of true friendship. One of the most noble expressions of friendship is to stick by a costly friend. A good man will stand with a friend under siege. This type of courage, to stand in the line of fire on account of a friend is a rare bird indeed. Men will fight on the ground of their own choosing. Having the ground picked for you is a much harder pill to swallow. Drawing fire to your own self, in a fight that a coward would easily avoid, is a nobler thing altogether.
We live in an age gone mad. Moral orthodoxy is all an inversion of true moral orthodoxy. In our situation, social shame is the main lever that the madmen use to enforce their orthodoxy. Good men are the special targets of shame campaigns. Good men respond to shame, because shame is a good thing, in the service of truth. Good men are therefore vulnerable to shame that is twisted by the devils. It is precisely this shame, and the fear of it, that is a most effective weapon in the hands of the devils.
And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him-a threefold cord is not quickly broken.3
The tactic of doxxing is a shame tactic. The point is to isolate a man from his friends and to force him into terror. A frightened animal makes mistakes that a rational man easily avoids. Watch a rabbit cased by dogs. If it plays into its strengths, it will escape and live. If it panics, it is dead. The strength of men is in their combinations, not in their isolations. The devils know this, and this is why they use shame-tactics. Why not? It is an effective tool.
How then do we effectively mitigate shame-tactics? First off, do nothing alone. If you are the leader, draw good men into your orbit. If you are naturally reticent, be drawn into the orbit of better men. In these various combinations, you must shame-proof yourselves.
Be good men. Do nothing, publicly nor privately that you should be ashamed of. Do not be underhanded in your speech or dealings. High levels of integrity are required of good men. Do this.
Seek to defend the honor of your friends. It is bad form to defend ones’ own honor too vigorously. It is the height of honor to defend the reputation of a good man. The impulse to defend a good man is a marker of high nobility. Do this.
Avoid the company of bad men. Do not knit your money nor your heart to men that a good man would be ashamed to defend. Bad company corrupts good morals. Do not do this.
Be hard-headed and soft-hearted. Treat everyone with candor. Do not lie for a friend. If he is a good man, he will not hold you in high estimation for that. If he is a bad man, see my previous point. Do this.
Do not let go of the main point, which is the elevation of the Glory of God in all things. The main point must always be the main point. To quote Michael Sweet, “We are soldiers under Gods’ command.” Do not take council of your fears. A good soldier listens to his own officers, not the propaganda of the foe. Be a good friend.
Prov. 17:17
Prov. 27:10
Eccl. 4:12